How Dads Can Support Breastfeeding (It Matters More Than You Think)

Dads can’t breastfeed, but they make a big difference in whether breastfeeding works. Early weeks of breastfeeding are often hard: sore nipples, cluster feeding, worry about supply, and very little sleep. A partner who understands the basics and takes over everything else can be the difference between quitting in week two and getting through to the point where it’s easy.

Why it’s worth the effort, if she wants it

ACOG recommends exclusive breastfeeding for about the first six months when possible, and notes health benefits for both the baby and the mother. It’s also her body and her decision. Your job is to support the plan she chooses and to back her up if the plan changes.

What a good latch looks like

You’ll be watching from the outside, which is actually a great view. Signs of a good latch:

• The baby’s mouth is wide open, taking in much of the areola, not just the nipple.
• Lips flanged out, like a fish.
• Chin touching the breast, nose clear.
• You can see or hear swallowing after the first few quick sucks.
• It doesn’t hurt after the first few seconds.

If it hurts throughout, she can break the suction with a clean finger in the corner of the baby’s mouth and try again.

Your jobs around every feed

• Bring the baby. Change the diaper first, so the baby is awake and she doesn’t have to get up.
• Set up the station: water, snacks, phone, charger, pillow, burp cloth, remote.
• Burp, change, and resettle after the feed so she can go back to sleep.
• Track it if the pediatrician wants a log: time, side, wet and dirty diapers.
• Run the house. Meals, dishes, laundry, older kids, visitors.

Budget

Boppy Original Nursing Pillow

Why dads like it

Props baby at the right height during feeds and saves your partner’s arms and back.

Best for

Awake, supervised feeding only. Never for sleep.

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Know what’s normal

According to the AAP:

• Newborns often breastfeed 8 to 12 times in 24 hours.
• Cluster feeding, several feeds close together, often in the evening, is common and isn’t a sign of low supply.
• Growth spurts bring a few days of constant feeding.
• Enough wet and dirty diapers, and steady weight gain at checkups, are the signs the baby is getting enough.

Call for help early

The best time to get breastfeeding help is before things fall apart. Call the pediatrician or a lactation consultant (IBCLC) if:

• Feeding hurts throughout, or nipples are cracked or bleeding.
• The baby isn’t having enough wet and dirty diapers, or isn’t gaining weight.
• She has a hard, red, painful area on the breast with fever or flu-like symptoms (possible mastitis; call her provider).
• She’s dreading every feed.

Many hospitals have lactation consultants, and insurance often covers lactation support. The Office on Women’s Health has more resources.

Pumping and bottles

If she’s pumping, check insurance before buying a pump; most plans must cover one (HealthCare.gov). Once breastfeeding is going well, a bottle of pumped milk lets you own a feed, often the late-evening one so she can sleep a longer stretch. See the bottle-feeding guide.

Mid-range

Spectra S1 Plus Breast Pump

Why dads like it

Rechargeable double electric pump. Check insurance first; many plans cover a pump.

Best for

Breastfeeding partners planning to pump, especially after returning to work.

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If breastfeeding doesn’t work out

Sometimes, despite everything, it doesn’t. Supply, pain, health issues, a return to work, or her mental health can all change the plan. Combination feeding and formula feeding are good ways to feed a baby. The worst outcome is a parent who feels like a failure. Make sure she hears from you that a fed baby and a well mom are the goal, and that she did a great job.