The Playbook

21 Weeks Pregnant: Feeling Kicks and Picking a Pediatrician

By the Guide to Fatherhood editorial team. Last reviewed . 2 min read.

Checked against guidance from organizations like the AAP, CDC, ACOG and NHS (linked below). This is general information, not medical advice. Read our medical disclaimer.

Trimester2
Sizea carrot
Length / weightabout 10.5 in (26.7 cm), about 12.7 oz (360 g)

Movements are stronger and more frequent. The baby is swallowing amniotic fluid, which helps the digestive system practice, and has regular sleep and wake cycles.

Your to-do list this week

  • Spend ten quiet minutes in the evening with a hand on her belly. Babies are often active when she's resting.
  • Start looking for a pediatrician: ask friends, check insurance, and book a 'meet the pediatrician' visit if offered.
  • Read to the bump. Any book. It's practice for you as much as the baby.
  • Put her feet up after work and take over the evening jobs that require standing.
A conversation to have this week

"What are our non-negotiables for how we'll raise this kid?" Start broad: kindness, faith, screens, discipline, how we'll argue in front of them.

The baby this week

About the length of a carrot, the baby is moving more forcefully now: kicks, rolls, jabs. The baby swallows amniotic fluid regularly, which gives the digestive system practice, and has developed regular sleep and wake cycles (Mayo Clinic; NHS).

How she may be feeling

She is probably feeling movements clearly. Common complaints this week include swollen feet and ankles, backache, and leg cramps. Elevating her feet and avoiding standing for long periods helps. Sudden swelling of the face or hands, or swelling with a headache or vision changes, should get a call to her provider.

How to feel the baby kick

Partners often feel kicks from the outside somewhere between 20 and 24 weeks. Your best odds:

  • Wait for a quiet time. Babies often move more when she’s lying down in the evening.
  • Use a flat, still hand on the side of her belly where she’s feeling movement, and stay put for a few minutes. Pressing hard doesn’t help.
  • Talk. Some dads swear their voice gets a reaction. It might be coincidence. It’s still nice.

If you don’t feel anything yet, it’s not a reflection of anything except the thickness of the uterine wall and the baby’s position.

Choose a pediatrician

The hospital will ask who your baby’s doctor is, and the first checkup typically happens within a few days of leaving. The AAP suggests starting during pregnancy. Questions to ask:

  • Is the practice in-network for your insurance?
  • What are the hours, and how do after-hours calls work?
  • Will you usually see the same doctor?
  • How does the practice handle sick visits, and is there a nurse line?
  • Which hospitals are they affiliated with?

Many practices offer a free “meet the pediatrician” visit. It’s worth an hour.

Frequently asked questions

When do we need to choose a pediatrician?

Before the birth, ideally by the third trimester. The hospital will ask who your baby's doctor is, and the first checkup usually happens within a few days of going home.

Sources

  1. Fetal development: The 2nd trimester, Mayo Clinic
  2. How to Choose a Pediatrician, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org)
  3. Week 21: Your baby and your body, NHS

We link to the original source for every medical and safety claim. Guidance changes; if a source has been updated since our last review, the source wins. How we research.